Sunday, March 23, 2008

This is...

my demon. al-kuḥl - ironic, these days, that it was a gift of the Arabs.

I was asked recently if I was doing much writing, and was encouraged to share my truth, especially with younger people. Well, since most of the blogging world is younger than moi, I thought why not.

In my early days..15 on...alcohol was fun, and I was proud that I could hold my own and drink more than the guys. Little did I know that was a red flag. By the time I was 42, drinking was the be all and end all of my life and I had no idea how it had come to that. Slowly, steadily and progressively as the description of the disease describes. I lost many things,including my marriage, any relationship with my children, my ability to work and but mostly my sense of who I was. Death on the installment plan.

When someone told me it never had to be this way again, I really didn't get it. But I went into a detox mostly because I was at the point of not wanting to live but not knowing how to die fast enough. That's a cliche but when you've lived that cliche you know why it's a cliche. My life truly has never been the same and it is almost 21 years later. 12 step programs are free and full of people willing to listen, to laugh and to cry with you but mostly help you change.

So while this is about me , if it touches something in you that you don't like looking at, remember there is another way of life. Really.

Thank you drewzel for a moving start to this week's "This is..." meme.

9 comments:

Stacy A. said...

Maureen, thank you for sharing your story. I have had a similar experience. While my issue isn't alcohol, I was at a similar point, my bottom as they say. It has been 2 years since I was in the hospital searching for hope. I listened to what they had to say and haven't acted on my urges since. What a new life. 20 some years is a huge accomplishment.
I wondered if you were doing okay, not thinking to check the other blog. I'm glad your still kickin'. I just have to say that those colored deviled eggs are a little freaky lol. Have a great Easter. Love Stacy

kitty's kaboodle said...

Thankyou for sharing your story. It is refreshing to hear people speak out, because it reminds us all of how easy it is to get caught up in it all. And just how hard it is to step back and really see what we are doing to ourselves.
Hope you had a great easter!

Lilli boo said...

What an amazing post. I truly admire your honesty in portraying your story. Thank you for dropping by too on occasions to my blog and leaving messages too. I hope you are enjoying you Easter celebrations.

Bird Bath said...

I found your post brilliant and brave...life can offer us many paths and sometimes it only takes a few twists to end up where we are. I'm glad you are finding your way.

Maureen said...

Thank you all for your comments. I hope to get round to seeing your 'demons' when I get home and back to my own computer. Easter was terrific!

Cath said...

Maureen - this is my first visit and what an intense introduction. Congratulations on the life changes - and sticking to them. I am lucky that my kids came along when they did or I could've easily ended up needing a 12 step program - in spite of experiencing first-hand the damage an alcohol addition can do. It's dangerous and damaging and it's heartening to hear of people who get better. I'll be back soon.

Betty said...

goodluck.
thankyou for sharing this story. Addiction is always a challenge and creeps up silently.
Take care.
again, thanks

little red said...

Thank you for your honesty.

Linnea said...

Thank you for sharing. Your bravery and openness are refreshing.

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